A Dream That Led to a Mistake Which Broke My Heat by Albina Martin

“There are always two paths.  Only you can choose which path to take.  Just make sure in the end that path won’t be a MISTAKE.”  Have you ever thought or wondered that the person you were in a relationship with, would be your “soul mate”, and then find out later they were NOT who they said they were?  I have experienced this firsthand involving my boyfriend/fiancé, and boy was it a huge mistake on my part, that I totally regret. 

I believe anything can be accomplished if you set your mind to it, have a sincere, believing heart that those dreams or goals will come true.  However, there might be those who disapprove of your dreams, because they know deep down inside that you have the great potential to make a big difference in this world. They will do everything in their power to crumble and shatter your dreams, either it is to bring you down to the depths of despair, or try to kill you.  I have had many put me down, stalked, condemned, or threatened to have me killed/raped because of my dreams.

My number one dream is to become a successful model, as well as a music recording artist, and have had many opportunities to fulfill that dream.  I auditioned for a modeling agency in Salt Lake City called “Barbizon Modeling Agency” and a week later I received an email and phone call reporting that I had made it into the agency.  I was so stoked about it that I leaped for joy and gratitude.  Since then, I have had many photo shoots with this agency, which I had a blast with, getting my makeup and hair done professionally.  This lasted for about four years, starting at the age of fourteen, going every week and posing in front of the camera for extended periods at a time, as well as recording at the studio.   It was a fantastic experience and totally so worth it!  I made friendships that would last a life time, and also made new friends, and began relationships that were either good or bad. 

But the turning point for me happened about a month ago.  I was engaged to a guy from Texas who was a rising country singer, trying to make it big in the music industry. We came in contact over Facebook through a mutual friend and we hit it off right away. Every single day, whether it was day or night, we talked and texted, and I became so enthralled with him that I hardly ate, slept, or focused on my school assignments.    He found out that I was a rising singer/model and wanted to help me be successful, so he “arranged” major modeling opportunities with American Eagle, and Victoria Secrets which I was looking forward to modeling for them.   Through all the stress, of spending many hours in front of the camera, I was having a hard time coping and stressing out so badly, that I turned to drugs and alcohol to numb the pain and strong emotions I was going through.  Every day, early in the morning, I would go to the Barbizon Agency and work, to practice my vocal training, learn how to act, or write my original music lyrics.    During all this, my boyfriend was “contacting” agencies, record labels and so forth.  We had been dating for a year and a half.   In April he proposed to me, and I told him I would have to think about it.  So a few days after the proposal, I called him up and told him my answer to him was YES!  He was so excited and told all his friends and family that we were engaged and that the wedding would be between the months of September or November.  I told my parents of my engagement, and they didn’t approve of it one bit, saying how I was not ready and mature enough for marriage.  I took no heed to their objection and disapproval of getting married to someone who I only talked over Facebook, phone, and Skype.  My boyfriend said that we should get married without my parents in Texas because in January of 2014 we were both going on tour together around the world for one whole year. We would have a two week break, in which we would start recording our music originals, so we could release our albums at the end of next year.  At that point, hearing all this, I knew my future was all planned out with many great adventures awaiting me.  I finally realized that my dreams were slowly coming true, to grow and strengthen my love of music and modeling.  I knew that now my life journey would be a challenge, but also fun and exciting. 

Our relationship was great, or so I thought, until the day before my 18^th birthday, which was on September 6^th.   I received devastating news from my biological brother, in the form of a well written letter.  My brother told me that my boyfriend was just using me for my money, lying, deceiving, and cheating his way into my life, in order to take a hold of me and control me.  All the modeling opportunities with American Eagle and Victoria Secrets, and the many record labels who wanted to sign with me were nothing but LIES!  I was so heartbroken that I started to cry, and got all pissed at him for doing this to me.  He seemed like a guy who I could trust, confide in, spend my life with, but what did he do in return?  He tore me into a million pieces and broke my trust for him completely.   All my friends and fans on Facebook and Twitter were horribly mad at him for hurting me, others, but most of all, he hurt himself in a major way.  Nobody wants anything to do with him, including me.  I totally deserve better than that.  I want a guy who treats me with the kind of respect every girl wishes, is honest, loyal, is really committed to me, and truly understands me for who I am instead of using me for my looks or body.  Now I finally realize why so many girls in the past left him after a short term relationship.  And I learned that the hard way. 

I now know that things, including individuals are NOT always as they appear or say to be.  I thought this relationship was perfect in the beginning, but I ended up in a trap that I thought I was stuck in, and had to dig deeper to get out.  My heart was broken but is now mended again with the help of a guy I am in a relationship with currently, from Summit High School.   I am happy and satisfied with this guy I am dating.  Sometimes we need to step back and look at the whole picture of our lives and all the facts, so we don’t have to get our hearts broken by someone that meant a lot to us.  We all have great potential in our lives, totally deserve to grow and learn from our past mistakes, and not repeat them ever again.