My Most Valuable Mistake by Matt Chercora

Stop and think, Matt, what is your next move? Do you just stay and deal with this or will you jump from the window? While I was thinking about staying and dealing with the problem I caused, in reality I just in the air for at least 3seconds. I felt the hard surface hit the bottom of my feet.

I was still running when I came back to reality. The funny part was when I was running I thought about what I would do next, even though I had a couple of hours before I jumped to think about it. I then thought about clothes and wondered why I didn’t think about packing clothes. My lungs felt like they were going to explode out of my chest. I knew where there would be cigarettes and I still had my lighter on me from when I was getting high behind the house. Then thinking about that place where there would be a cigarette and I ran to that place. I needed to get that smoke in my lungs, then I would think about what I would do next. I approached the place where my friend Killer was. As I took a drag I thought about my mom and where she would be, and then thinking about it I knew where she would be. I went walking down the road for about a half a mile then I went through an ally I knew very well. I was walking and I heard someone say ”Matt” and I thought it was a cop so I ducked real quick. My heart beat sped up real quick and I stopped breathing to hear if he was coming close to get me. Then I heard laughter and I peeked out and saw some people I knew and I let out that breath that I’d held for who knows how long. I walked up to them and asked them if they’d heard about cops looking for me and they said, “no”. I told them about how I was running from the cops. They said that I was stupid and should turn myself in and go back, but I just told them that I wasn’t going back to that place. We talked for a little bit and I told them I was going to go and look for my mom. All they said was, “ok”. 

I found myself going up a long road that led to my home town, well it wasn’t a real town but we liked to call it that. I walked for the longest time and took a break at a stump that looked like it would light on fire very easily, but I wasn’t about to draw attention to myself. I laid back for a bit and looked up at the stars and thought that there has to be a better place out in another universe. I hate that people tryed to control me and even though I showed them that I could do things by myself and can take care of myself. But in all reality, I was hurt that I couldn’t be with my mother. They say she isn’t stable but I tell them that they don’t know my mother the way I do. I wanted things to be my way and I hated the system. Thinking about this now I look back and think to myself that if I didn’t make that jump I wouldn’t know what I do now and wouldn’t have the people I have now. While I was thinking about this I heard a noise coming up the road and I hide behind the stump. I waited for the person or whatever it was to pass me by. When I started to walk again into the mist of the midnight moon towards my mother and towards the happy part of my life that I really wanted.