My Favorite Mistake: September

My biggest mistake was the first time I ever tried meth. I had told one of my friends who had been doing it that I wanted to try it. A few days later my parents were out on a date and she called me and asked who all was home. When I told her she asked if she could come over and I told her yes. When her and her boyfriend showed up they were already high. We went outside to smoke a cigarette and then went downstairs into my bedroom. She pulled out the bag of meth and grabbed my laptop she smashed it inside a dollar bill and then split in into four lines. I was already high from smoking spice so I was scared. I told them I didn’t know if I wanted to do it but they told me I’m the one who wanted to so I was like screw it and I snorted it. I got really high. We all went outside to smoke another cigarette and I was smoking more spice they told me I shouldn’t while I was on the meth but I did anyway I smoked like three bowls to myself and the next thing I remember is waking up on the kitchen floor my friends were telling me that I had just had a seizure. It didn’t really scare me though I had many before that and that wasn’t the last one. After that night I was hooked. I got high every time I could and I did anything and everything to get high. At first I was only snorting it. I wasn’t doing it all the time it was just a now and then type thing. After a while it got worse. My family started expecting something was up but I denied everything. The first time I ever smoke it I had the worst come down I have ever had to this day. I was coming down horribly and I was going to go over to my friends house so we could go and get some more. But my mom said no me and her got in a huge fight. I was so pissed because she was preventing me from going and getting more. I punched out her car window and ran away. I went to my friends and we were waiting for our other friend to come over. I was calming down right when the cops came. As soon as they knocked I knew it was them. I was so pissed at my mom. I got arrested and taken to detention. They gave me a U.A. and I failed for meth and marijuana. I was in detention for a few days but they didn’t think I was mentally stable so I got sent to the Provo Canyon Behavioral Hospital. They put me on meds and I went to counseling and everything I only had to stay there for two weeks because it was a short term program.   The day after I got home I relapsed I went and got high and I was coming down I was super depressed and I wasn’t taking my meds so about three days later they took me to the hospital and I failed another U.A so they sent me to the hospital again. I came home two weeks later. I came home sometime in November 2012. I was clean for about three months. Sometime in February or March I relapsed again. I was still only snorting it. I decided not to smoke it no more so I wouldn’t have bad come downs  I was still only 15 I was dating this 21 year old guy named Dylan. He was doing math also. He was shooting up. His parents went out of town and him and his three friends were all at his house getting high. They told me to come over so I did. They had some meth but it was already all melted down and put into the needles. I really wanted to get high so I said I didn’t care. That was the first night I shot up. I couldn’t do it myself so I told Dylan he had to do it. My veins were so small and so they made me run around the house to get my blood pumping it wasn’t working and so we went in the bathroom and turned on the shower to see if the heat would help my blood flow. It did a little bit he missed three times before he got it into a vein finally.  Me and him just stayed up all night tweaking’ the next day he was supposed to take me to school but I just went home. I only shot up a few times. I still preferred to snort it. Everyone thought I was crazy because when you snort it it burns your brain. You get this really bad pain in your head and you can’t breathe out of your nose. I think that feeling was part of the reason why I loved it so much. I loved that feeling. I continued to get high and I was staying out of trouble and being smart but one night I went to a party and it got busted I got my third consumption. When I went to court I ended up having to go to detention for a week, and they out me on probation. I got out on a Saturday. I knew that Thursday my probation officer was coming to do a home visit. I was planning on staying clean but I really wanted to get high. The day after I got out one of y friends asked if I could get him any I did because I knew every time I hooked him up he would give me some. I got him a big and he gave me a couple lines. Me and one of my friends did the lines. The next day I was coming down really bad. So then I called my other friend Colton and asked him if he had fifty dollars because I had to “pay my fine.” He gave me the money and I went and bought a bag I didn’t have anyone to do it with so I did it all by myself I was doing a line about every five or six hours. On that Wednesday I did my last line. I was scared though I knew I was going to get a U.A. but I was already high. I was up for four days. I didn’t eat anything so I started blacking out and my ears kept ringing the next day at school I was still high. My probation officer showed up at my school and gave me a U.A. And I went to detention. After that I went to O and A. Then I got sent here.