Ryan: Surviving the System

   Whether you’re a true to heart delinquent, a natural born mastermind, or just someone who happened to have gotten wrapped up in this bureaucratic bovine shit-hole, there are a few things you need to know. If you want to make it, whether you’re trying to make yourself a criminal career or are honestly trying to straighten things out and get it together, there are some rules you need to follow if you want to make it out in one piece. I’m not going to reveal any “trade secrets” (this information is going to be available to adults after all) but nevertheless, it is invaluable.

1.     When in doubt, cover your ass.

2.     Before in doubt, cover your ass.

3.     ALWAYS think ahead. The best way to fix a problem is to eliminate the possibility beforehand.

4.     NEVER trust a sketch. A sketch is anyone who allows their paranoia to overwhelm them. This invariably leads to panic and poor judgment. Sketches are often found getting caught up for things that could have easily been avoided with a calm mind and proper forethought.

5.     Stay calm (and FTS on)

6.     Stay paranoid but stay calm and in control. Paranoia is a necessary evil. It’s like having a pet tiger. It can be useful for protection, but you must always watch it and make sure you keep it under control. Or else you could easily find yourself being screwed and disemboweled by your tiger.

7.     Stay collected. Control your emotions in every situation and make sure you never allow your emotions to give anyone else control over you. Poker face like a stone angel. Innocent, but not to be f*cked with.

8.     Emotions aren’t bad but they can be dangerous. Stay in control, don’t let them control you. In this constant fight for control, the last person you want to lose it to is yourself.

9.     When it comes to the system, don’t EVER get suckered into thinking they actually give a shit. Some of them legitimately do, but those who do either have no actual control, are horribly naïve, or are a sad mix of both. Trusting too much is dangerous and will never end well.

10.  Trust is important, just be careful whom you do.

11.  Be true to yourself. While running through the maze, you’ll make sacrifices, you’ll have losses, but never let go of who you are. It’s one of the only things you have to fight for anyway.

Stay strong, live long, and f*ck the system.                                                        –Ryan Vires